Bottle Penis

Today I watched a grown ass man pretend that a water bottle (a reused Gatorade bottle to be exact) was his penis.

"how so?" you may ask. what a foolish decision on your part.

he began by dangling the bottle between his knees (this on it's own was sort of amusing). he then began stroking it in an effort to arose himself and his plastic penis (I apologize if this upsets you...try seeing it not in your imagination...it hurts more because you realize someone thinks this is clever)(this became less amusing) he then walked behind a female coworker and proceeded to "ejaculate" by spraying her in the back with water.

now some of you may cry fowl, "this is most certainly sexual harassment!" you will say to yourself as you pretend to write a novel at the back of your local starbucks (that's right, we know..), but you yet again are being foolish.

why? because not everyone has the same sense of humor (or opinions on what warrants a harassment complaint) as you.

rather then crying fowl the female coworker instead responded by laughing and bending over a work bench crying out "hit me with a chair leg biggy!".

this man is my supervisor.

-SMJ